mirror of
https://expo.survex.com/repositories/expoweb/.git/
synced 2024-11-22 15:21:55 +00:00
142 lines
7.6 KiB
HTML
142 lines
7.6 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0//EN">
|
|
<html>
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" />
|
|
<title>Cambridge Underground 1996: From Expo Novice to Expo Leader</title>
|
|
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="../../css/main2.css" />
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<center><font size=-1>Cambridge Underground 1996 pp 15-16</font>
|
|
|
|
<h2>From Expo Novice to Expo Leader:<br>
|
|
The Tale of My Decline</h2>
|
|
|
|
<p><b><i>by Steve Bellhouse</i></b></center>
|
|
|
|
<p>I can picture it clearly. I was sitting next to the beer barrel at the
|
|
CUCC squash, talking to a gorgeous lady with long blonde hair who kept
|
|
filling my glass. That was when I first heard of expo. At the time it was
|
|
an enigma, a garbled mass of nonsensical phrases. "Potato hut",
|
|
<span lang=de-at>"Gösser"</span> and "Wadders" were concepts
|
|
completely alien to me. Now, over a year later, I know that the beautiful
|
|
young lady is in fact a man called Petel, and the institution known as
|
|
expo has also become clearer to me, although many mysteries still remain.
|
|
This is the tale of my expo enlightenment. (How I found out Petel was a
|
|
man is another, more sordid story.)
|
|
|
|
<p>Halfway through my first term, the entire club decided it was intensely
|
|
amusing to shout "Whose car am I going to expo in?" at a nice
|
|
little man called Nick. Nick had been nobbled as 'Expo Leader', and this
|
|
apparently made him a complete mug. What kind of sucker would volunteer for
|
|
a job like that? At the time, I was blissfully unaware of the true extent
|
|
of the horrific ordeal facing him, but alas no more, as this year's mug is
|
|
me. The trials and tribulations of expo leadership are also another story,
|
|
though.
|
|
|
|
<p>By this time it was clear that expo would be happening and that I would
|
|
be going. Easter term and exams flashed by me largely unnoticed as my life
|
|
became intertwined with the whirlwind of drama, comedy and romance that is
|
|
expo. A month climbing in the Alps seemed dull and uneventful as I waited
|
|
impatiently for the big moment. Then it finally arrived. It was time to go
|
|
to expo, and three weeks of excitement and adventure lay ahead of me, with
|
|
danger lurking at every turn.
|
|
|
|
<p>I discovered the Potato Hut a few small seconds before I discovered
|
|
<span lang=de-at>Gösser</span>, the true drink of the Gods. This utopian
|
|
nectar has to be disguised as fizzy Austrian lager to stop over-consumption
|
|
by those unappreciative of its subtleties. I, however, was very appreciative,
|
|
and I over-consumed accordingly.
|
|
|
|
<p>Next, I discovered the expo dinner, which I had cunningly arrived just
|
|
in time for. The singing of <a href="../../../archive/song.htm">'Wild
|
|
Caver'</a> was more raucous and less tuneful than ever before, a girl stole
|
|
my heart away by eating ten chocolate puddings, and only one person had to go
|
|
to hospital. I woke up next morning with a massive hangover, thinking that
|
|
expo was great. Then I had to go caving.
|
|
|
|
<p>Twenty minutes drive up a chunderous toll road, an hour's walk to top
|
|
camp and another hour to the cave, all carting caving gear, left me
|
|
knackered before even going caving. However, once I was there I suddenly
|
|
became keen, and that first trip turned out to be the best of my expo. We
|
|
whizzed down France, past the legendary free-hanging rebelay in Algeria,
|
|
one more pitch, up a mud slope, bang a quick spit in, and...
|
|
|
|
<p>...CAVE! Fat wads of stonking great new passageway in both directions.
|
|
We stomped off happily, I found a pitch and got to dangle precariously and
|
|
put a spit in, whilst the others did some surveying. Altogether we were
|
|
underground for thirteen hours, and we got back to top camp just as the
|
|
sun was coming up. Next day we headed back to base camp to drink beer and
|
|
spread wild rumours about how our find would link KH to
|
|
<span lang=de-at>Stellerweg</span> and make our cave one of the finest in the
|
|
world. Our dreams of international fame and fortune were soon shattered by
|
|
Olly's computer that showed us our sense of direction underground was about
|
|
average ie. non-existent. It was still an important find, though, and I was
|
|
still happy.
|
|
|
|
<p>A few days later expo changed my life for ever, when I met Robert the
|
|
Wonder Caver, a dashing Austrian policeman who caves like a demon, drinks
|
|
like a fish and is quite possibly hung like a grand-national winner. No
|
|
man could have a finer rôle-model. This man splits his time between
|
|
heroically fighting crime on the violent, vice-filled Austrian streets,
|
|
and pushing back the boundaries of human exploration in relentless
|
|
subterranean sorties. The time he spends bombing round in his car whilst
|
|
tanked up on Schnapps is minimal and excusable, especially as he's so hard.
|
|
|
|
<p>More caving, more <span lang=de-at>Gösser</span>, more sunshine, more
|
|
rain (oh how fondly I remember the chirpy tuneful pitter-patter of Austrian
|
|
raindrops), more lies and exaggerations, expo flowed over and around me like
|
|
the water in a Swildons duck. I was never entirely sure if I would survive.
|
|
|
|
<p>Time passed and the end of expo drew inexorably closer. Everyone tried not
|
|
to think about the massive piles of assorted caving shit at top camp and the
|
|
cave entrance that would soon have to be brought down. People coped with the
|
|
stress of the impending Carries of Doom in different ways. Some frantically
|
|
ticked off <span lang=de-at>Gössers</span> in the bier book, hoping not
|
|
to wake up until it was all over. Others lay on their backs on lilos on the
|
|
lake, staring blankly up at the sky and murmuring "Wibble" very quietly. The
|
|
car battery up there which was completely unused all expo, and the 16lb tub
|
|
of syrup which had seemed like a good idea at the time, were not going to
|
|
walk down the hill on their own. I discovered the problems of owning a
|
|
rucksack which was widely regarded as infinite, but slowly, surely, the end
|
|
drew near. The bubbling metropolis of top camp became a simple field once
|
|
more, and <span lang=de>Kaninchenhöhle</span> was allowed to sleep.
|
|
She's not a beautiful cave, a little tiresome at times and slightly muddy in
|
|
places, but we all love her and she deserves her rest. Expo was over.
|
|
|
|
<p>The gear fitted in the car for the journey home, then we remembered
|
|
that I had to fit in somewhere as well. Hours passed in a half waking
|
|
nightmare of sleeping bags and radio equipment falling from the sky, and
|
|
finally I arrived home. Next year I shall return a hardened veteran, and
|
|
novices will gaze at me in awe and wonder, and I won't reveal to them the
|
|
tale of my past, when I too first tried to make sense of the CUCC annual
|
|
expedition. I now know the secret. You don't try to understand it. You
|
|
just go there and do it.
|
|
|
|
<p><center><a href="../../1623/161/l/pipecp.htm"><img alt="Beehive Camp -
|
|
8k jpg, link to 85k jpeg" width=184 height=116
|
|
src="../../1623/161/t/pipecp.jpg"></a><br>
|
|
<i>Steve Bellhouse, Martin Sabry and Kate Janossy enjoy a refreshing cup of
|
|
hot chocolate (ahem) at the underground camp in Beehive, 1994.</i> [Photo:
|
|
Andy Atkinson]</center>
|
|
|
|
<p><hr />
|
|
<!-- LINKS -->
|
|
<ul id="links">
|
|
<li><a href="../../../jnl/1996/index.htm">Table of Contents</a>
|
|
for Cambridge Underground 1996</li>
|
|
<li>1995 Expedition info:
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.htm">Index</a> (more detail than in this list)</li>
|
|
<li><a href="report.htm">Cambridge Underground report</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="log.htm">Logbook</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="excsrp.htm">Preliminary report</a> (exCS newsletter)</li>
|
|
<li><a href="bcracc.htm">BCRA Caves and Caving</a> Report</li>
|
|
<li>This year's <a href="sponsr.htm">Sponsors</a></li>
|
|
</ul></li>
|
|
<li><A HREF="../../../index.htm">Back to CUCC top page</a></li>
|
|
<li><A HREF="../../index.htm">Austria expeditions</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="../../../jnl/index.htm">Index</a> to Cambridge Underground<br>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
</body>
|
|
</html>
|