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<!-- from Cambridge Underground 1995/6 pp 11-14 -->
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<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf8" />
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<title>1994: Cambridge Underground report (preprint)</title>
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<center><h2>Expo '94</h2>
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<p><i><b>by Anthony Day</b></i></center>
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<blockquote>"In July 1994, CUCC mounted an expedition to explore and survey
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new caves in the Totes Gebirge near Salzburg in Austria. This was the
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eighteenth such expedition to Austria. Our main objective was to investigate
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some of the many leads in a cave called Kaninchenhöhle, which was found
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by CUCC in 1988 etc etc..."</blockquote>
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<p>What a load of bollocks, and I wonder if our sponsors find it any more
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interesting than I do. "<i>CUCC go on holiday to Austria for four weeks and
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do a bit of caving as well</i>" might be a more accurate summary of what
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follows.
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<p>As regularly happens, we were joined by a number of non-CUCC members,
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including a random American called Bob, an even more random caver from York
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by the name of Ralph, and four members of the University of London Caving
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Club, recently formed by CUCC member Ali Morris amongst others. We hope to
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continue having ULCC guests on expeditions in future years.
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<p><b>In the beginning...</b>
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<p>The usual chaos associated with organising expo was compounded by the
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decision of Wookey, God of expo for the previous three years to go to Spain
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instead. Through not having the wit the volunteer for one of the easy jobs,
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the title of expo leader was bestowed upon Nick Proctor. To say that he
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greeted the news of his new responsibility with unbridled glee would be to
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entirely misrepresent the truth, and he spent the next eight months looking
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as miserable as the expo treasurer. However, a month before departure, he
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hatched a cunning plan to abdicate all his responsibilities by contracting
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glandular fever. This meant that the start of expo was delayed by a week,
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the title of expo leader was passed to a committee of Ali, Anthony, Petel
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and MTS, and the harassed expo treasurer won the task of writing half a dozen
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reports, of which this is one.
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<p>After many frantic phone calls between Cambridge, Holmfirth, Milton
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Keynes, Southampton and the Isle of Skye, transport of people and gear out to
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Austria was eventually sorted out (though at that point we didn't really
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know how it was all going to get back.) The first wave of cars arrived in
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Austria more or less on time (ie. on the right day), which owes more to good
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fortune than the mechanical soundness of the vehicles concerned, what with
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MikeTA's bodged clutch, Ali's percussive cam shaft, and Sean's car (which was
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towing the trailer) firing on only three cylinders from the moment he pulled
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away from the tackle store. (Incidentally, trying to push start a car on the
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dockside at Dover with a trailer still attached to it is a crap idea).
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<p>There then followed two days of efficiency during which we set up top
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camp (later moved 200m down the hill after it was decided that we had shafted
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the grass a bit too much), and rigged as far as Knossos and Algeria. By the
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time Andy A and Helen arrived, having travelled the scenic route via a
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German town that sounds a bit like Saarbrücken thanks to Helen's
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suspect navigational skills, we were prepared for a big effort on the caving
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front.
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<p><b>...there was the word</b>
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<p>...and the word was with Festering and the word was Fester, which is
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exactly what we did for two weeks. Never in the field of speleological
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endeavour was so little done by so many for so long. Enthusiasm for caving
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was kept to a bare minimum, being mainly confined to AndyA and MikeTA. They
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introduced a variety of novices to the vast chambers and passages big enough
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to drive a bus down for which Austria is renowned (or so goes the bullshit
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that we had been expounding during the previous year), by taking them to a
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squeeze at the end of Gnome Passage. Strangely, few of their companions could
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be enticed to make a return trip. The squeeze lead to a series of rift
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passages and pitches. In an effort to prove their superhero status, Andy and
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Mike took our drill, Geraldine, and her outsize battery through the squeeze,
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only to find that Geraldine was in a fickle mood, so they dragged the whole
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shooting match out again - hence "Driller Killer" earned its name. They also
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surveyed out, recording 51 survey legs. On a later trip, Andy spent 40
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minutes upside down a rift whilst trying to retrieve the drill power cable.
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Further trips found "Stomping," which isn't, and which eventually links back
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into Vestabule, and a chamber ("Dreaming of Limo") with a number of ways on.
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<p>Various abortive attempts to reach the far end were made, thwarted by
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tiredness, light failure and nice-weather-induced-jacking. To nobody's great
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surprise it was decided that underground camping would be too shit (though
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only after all the camping gear had been carted underground) and probably
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unnecessary after it was discovered that the campsite was only a four hour
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round trip from the entrance.
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<p>Sitting in the potato hut swatting flies and listening to "This Corrosion"
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playing on continuous loop on the expo sound system became the preferred
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pastime. The attractions of base camp in the sun were particularly
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appreciated by those who had experienced the washout of expo '93, though I
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think MTS regretted not investing in any suncream or a T-shirt with more
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colour and fewer holes.
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<p>The standard of base camp cuisine saw a welcome upturn, largely thanks to
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keeping pissed up rhinos at a safe distance from the stove and Sean's desire
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to prove that when it comes to cooking as in all aspects of expedition life,
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Oxford reign supreme (though his excessive use of whole coriander giving his
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slops the texture of birdseed did not meet with universal approval). The
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string of lentil curries was broken by a barbecue to celebrate Ali's
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birthday, at which the standing of the caving community was further enhanced
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in the eyes of the Gasthof residents by the raucous singing, loud stereo, and
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particularly by Ralph chundering all over their urinal.
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<p>Meanwhile, Anthony and others spent 70 caver hours in France finding that
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the big pitch near the top of Frog's Legs leads into Twin Tubs, which
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everybody knew anyway, a combination of inexperience, lack of confidence and
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good old fashioned slackness limiting their output.
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<p>At this point, more people began to arrive. Julian Haines was particularly
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welcome as he owned an estate car with a towbar, thus giving us a realistic
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means of getting the trailer and all the other shit back to Britain. He also
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brought out the new radio system, which had been carefully adapted from its
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1993 predecessor such that it didn't work any more.
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<p>Steve and Kate appeared after hitching from the Alps, and Steve
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immediately started his assault on the beer tally by drinking 17 bottles of
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Gösser on his first day.
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<p>Another new arrival was Bob Bloodworth, a random American living in
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Germany, who had got in touch with Wookey prior to expo. His introduction to
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European style SRT was a trip down to Gnome with AndyA and MikeTA, and
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included a particularly nasty deviation. This trip popped out in Vestabule,
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thus meaning that the squeeze did not have to be negotiated again. Bob had
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more enthusiasm than the rest of the expo put together. In three days he
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amassed 33 hours underground and then went home - he will be most welcome
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again in future years.
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<p>The rediscovery of an old CUCC hole, labelled B11, caused some excitement,
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partly because it was jolly big with a six second drop followed by another
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four seconds of rattling around, but mainly because it was within spitting
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distance of top camp. Julian was volunteered to descend in dry grots, but
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having got about half way down, his zoom made the rest of the descent on its
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own, ensuring a later return.
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<p>Then came the dinner, by which time we had found the unimpressive total of
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250m of cave. The dinner itself will be remembered for a notable feat of
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gluttony achieved by Kate, who became the first CUCC member to eat ten Mohr
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im Hemds in succession and fail to regurgitate any of them for a full fifteen
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minutes.
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<p><b>More Caving</b>
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<p>Apart from his exploits down B11, Julian's first real caving trip was the
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day after the dinner, which found and surveyed 250m of stomping passageway
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off Sultans of Swing, a pitch leading out of Algeria. This proved to be the
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most significant find of the expo, and revived interest in caving. The two
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main passageways were Mississippi, which resembled a dried up river bed, and
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a muddy passage called Mississippi Mud Pie. On the next trip down here,
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whilst Julian and Ali ran away and found even more huge cave, Anthony and
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Kate had the pleasure of surveying a scrofulous 30m crawl (Mohr im Hemd)
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which Kate had pushed with commendable enthusiasm on the previous trip. This
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was only worth the effort because it led to a sizeable chamber
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(Regurgitation) with a couple of possible leads, and sorely tested Anthony's
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cheerful demeanour.
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<p>The series of pitches and passages found by Julian and Ali, which in a fit
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of inspiration they named after biscuits reflecting the state of the rock,
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led into a stomping phreatic passage which emerged in the middle of a large
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pitch with spits in it. Much speculation and even more bullshit then followed
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about what we might have broken into, ranging from other parts of KH, to
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another French cave, to Stellerweg. An attempt to survey this the following
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day was aborted before it started after Kate couldn't find the survey kit we
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had been using the previous day and thought it might have been left down the
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cave. At least this gave Heather an introduction to Austrian caving, as she
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and Ali went to retrieve this only to find it sitting in Kate's gear at the
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entrance. When the survey was eventually completed, in one mega trip
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involving two teams of three who surveyed 600m of cave, the pitch was found
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to be an active shaft which runs parallel to Fat Not Fruity, so the spits are
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presumably French. The pitch was named "Skeleton in the Cupboard," as during
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the initial exploration Julian and Ali thought they had found the final
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resting place of an unfortunate caver, which turned out to be an oddly shaped
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rock. On the surveying trip, Steve, not usually the most enthusiastic of
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cavers, was so keen to get underground that he didn't bother to put his
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clothes in a plastic bag and just left them strewn about the entrance, so you
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can probably guess what the weather did whilst he was underground (boom....
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crash....pitter-patter....)
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<p>Further trips down France linked in the survey with Fat Not Fruity, and
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pushed and surveyed "Fudge Brownie," a side passage off Mississippi. This led
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to a collection of loose rubble and earth levitating above a rift, named
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"Rocky Horror". The rift was found to link into the bottom of a pitch at the
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end of Mississippi, which was duly named "Black Suspender." MikeTS had an
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entertaining time climbing up a bank of choss in "Rich Tea Chamber" with the
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aid of a bolting hammer, which it was thought might lead to more passageway,
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but in fact concealed a pitch which was deemed too dangerous to bolt.
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<p>Meanwhile, AndyA, Bob and MikeTA finished off Driller Killer, surveyed and
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derigged. (The newly fettled drill battery packed in on its first trip).
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Despite all the easy stuff lying around in France, AndyA and Olly still
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worked up enough energy to push Exhaustion Pitch in the far northwestern
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corner of KH. They found a few hundred metres of cave which was draughty,
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cold and remote and thus named "Siberia," which ended in a pitch with a
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watery bottom.
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<p>Despite all this industry, we did find time for a little relaxation,
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zooming up and down the Halstättersee in a pair of pedalos, and going
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even faster down the toboggan run near Bad Ischl. The regular clientele
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probably suspected there were some reckless nutters in their midst when we
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showed up on a swelteringly hot day wearing long trousers and long sleeved
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shirts. (Note for next year: Twin sleds go LOTS faster than individual ones).
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This escapade took place on the same day that AndyA finally managed to pester
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enough people into going to take photographs of Vestas and Duracells in the
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depths of KH.
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<p>So the second half of expo made up for the first, with over a kilometre of
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cave being found and surveyed. We even managed to make base camp less
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pleasant by not washing up for three weeks. Eventually, when the fetid aroma
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behind the beer tent had not subsided despite us having stopped pissing
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there, it became obvious that the festering pan collection was responsible,
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and Kate very kindly did the honours and washed up, using enough disinfectant
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to sterilise the whole of Austria in the process. The subsequent discussion,
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as to whether or not they had been adequately rinsed, following a
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suspiciously tangy omelette, produced an unreasonable amount of ranting on
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both sides.
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<p><b>Derigging</b>
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<p>The day after the photo trip, derigging began. Pete and Ali had the joyous
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task of derigging the far end, which led to the most succinct write up of
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expo ("It was fucking hard, we were fucking shagged,") whilst Anthony, Julian
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and Martin finished some surveying in France and then derigged out. Since
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Julian and Anthony were going to do the lion's share of the derigging, they
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packed Martin off early with a full tacklesack. Martin thought it seemed a
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little heavier than normal, and this could have been because it was a quarter
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full of hangers. On the next day, AndyA, MikeTS, Steve and Olly finished
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derigging from Knossos, with Olly adding a little interest by dropping a
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tackle sack off the top of Bungalow. Julian also went to retrieve his zoom
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from B11, which is described in the old literature as a 50m shaft, choked at
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the bottom. It was thought that maybe it hadn't been fully explored. Guess
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what? <a href="/1623/198/198.html">B11</a> is a 50m shaft, which is well
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and truly choked.
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<p>Then followed the usual procession of overloaded cavers staggering down
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the mountain, followed by a mammoth rope washing session in the river. This
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offended one Belgian Gasthaus resident sufficiently to earn her a suitable
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volley of abuse from Julian.
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<p>At this point, Kate's bloke appeared, full of bullshit about how he'd been
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appointed Grand High Wizard of the International Veterinary Students Special
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Wanking Sub-Committee, or some such illustrious post. We bade them farewell
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as they set off to hitch, initially to Budapest, with two huge packs and a
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collection of veterinary text books on a trolley with a branch lashed to it
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for added comedy.
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<p>Then it was all over for another year, leaving KH now over 12km long (and
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still not bloody well finished), a number of promising leads in France (which
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still rains boulders on the unwary), and a big pile of empties to take back
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to the supermarket. Expo had not been as successful as it might have been,
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but we had still found another 1.8km of cave. Andy fixed his brakes, which
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had given him an exciting time coming down the toll road, most of the expo
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was packed into Julian's car and the trailer, and off we went. The two
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drivers of the latter vehicle (Julian and Anthony) were quite comfortable,
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but their passenger (Steve) probably realised he was going to be in for a
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hard time when the wall of shit next to him on the back seat collapsed as we
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negotiated the first bend. Never mind, it's only 16 hours to Oostende...
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<p><b>Statistics Corner</b>
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<ul>
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<li>Number of Cavers : 18
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<li>Total Caver Hours Underground : 665½
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<li>Maximum Individual TU : Andy A (90 hrs)
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<li>Most Keen Caver : Bob (8¼ hrs underground per day in Austria)
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</ul>
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<ul>
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<li>Biers Drunk : 920
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<li>Limos Drunk : 518
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<li>Bier Monster : Pete (125)
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<li>Limo King : Anthony (63)
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</ul>
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<p><b>Rogues Gallery</b>
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<ul>
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<li>Ali "The Shark (Retired)" Morris (CUCC & ULCC)
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<li>Andy "Drill Victim" Atkinson
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<li>Andy "Doris2" Davison
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<li>Anthony "Cookin' the Books" Day
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<li>Bob "Lean Mean Cavin' Machine" Bloodworth (Free Agent)
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<li>Dave "Wondercaver" Collins (ULCC)
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<li>Heather "The Chimney" McAdam (ULCC)
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<li>Helen "The Navigator" Twelftree
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<li>Julian "Marconi" Haines
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<li>Kate "Queen of Puddings" Janossy
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<li>Martin "Derigging Superhero" Sabry (ULCC)
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<li>Mike "Comedy Clutch" Richardson
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<li>Mike "In the Pink" Pigram
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<li>Olly "The Narg" Betts
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<li>Pete "Long-Haired Lout" Lord
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<li>Ralph "Chundermonster" Harwood (YUCPC)
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<li>Sean "Coriander King" Houlihane
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<li>Steve "Father Christmas" Bellhouse
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</ul>
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<hr />
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<!-- LINKS -->
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<ul id="links">
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<li><a href="http://cucc.survex.com/jnl/1996/index.htm">Table of Contents</a>
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for Cambridge Underground 1996</li>
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<li>1994 Expedition info:
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<ul>
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<li><a href="index.htm">Index</a> (more complete than this list)</li>
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<li><a href="log.htm">Logbook</a></li>
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<li>Index to <a href="161.htm">Kaninchenhöhle trips</a> in the log</li>
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<li><a href="bcracc.htm">BCRA Caves & Caving</a> Report</li>
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<li><a href="ustour.htm">American Wrinklie on Tour</a>
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(an independent view of the expo)</li>
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<li>This year's <a href="sponsr.htm">sponsors</a></li>
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</ul></li>
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<li><a href="../../pubs.htm#pubs1994">Index</a> to all publications</li>
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<li><a href="../../sponsr.htm">Current year's</a> sponsors</li>
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<li><a href="../../index.htm">Back to Expeditions intro page</a></li>
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<li><a href="../../../index.htm">CUCC Home Page</a></li>
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</ul>
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