Expo 2024

After initial faff with finding and setting up the equipment an opportunity was identified to time how long it would in fact take for me to wrap my head around the guide, and get a loaf of bread started in the machine. A stopwatch was started and I continued.

Regrettably the faff continued. Notable moments include setting 20ml of water out in the sun to warm enough to activate the yeast, and indeed going down an internet forum rabbit hole to try to decipher how much water to add to about a third of a packet of yeast in the first place. A heated debate also arose from the instructions regarding the stirring implement for the bread mixer. In absence of a wooden or plastic spoon I elected to use the *cleaned* plastic handle of a sharp knife. Before I could enact my plan however I was hurriedly halted by Phil, insisting I used the special tool which apparently exists to stir the bread. This tool takes the form of a plastic knife. A plastic knife is of course not the wooden or plastic spoon noted in the specification for the bread making machine, and despite my pleas that between the two they are so similar that stirring potential would not differ, I eventually yielded, trusting in the experienced guidance that the knife would produce the best results.

On to the results though, the bit you are all interested in. After dutifully waiting the three and a half hours, the bread was extracted. Slicing it up, samples were distributed. I'll leave it to the quotes to put together the picture of how it went.

Trying the bread first, Phil came out with "It's not mixed very well, there are dense lumps of salt in it". Under usual circumstances this would not be too bad, however the quote was accompanied with a deliberate journey to the door of the tatty hut and beyond. The bread's final resting place we can only guess at, but it is alluded to being the bush outside.

Upon Mr. Waite trying the bread second he ended up lying on the floor, claiming the bread was "so dense I had to lie down". When I made a move to pretend to kick James on the way past he responded "please don't make it come up, I don't want to taste it twice!" It was at this point when Jacob chimed in with the tactful comment "I couldn't even finish mine", adding "I feel nauseous" for good measure.

I do not know how it says more about (my bread, the others or Charlotte) but her comment was "I thought it was actually quite nice". So there you go, idiosyncratic taste buds or an unwavering commitment to politeness? I'll let you decide.

In the end I took this episode as an omen, deciding to call off my trip up the plateau early tomorrow morning. I was on the edge and this certainly seemed like the universe sending me a message. There is a silver lining though, and that is that I'll certainly never be asked to make bread again. Another afternoon drinking beer for me! Yours to the final Sump, Isaac.

After initial faff with finding and setting up the equipment an opportunity was identified to time how long it would in fact take for me to wrap my head around the guide, and get a loaf of bread started in the machine. A stopwatch was started and I continued.

Regrettably the faff continued. Notable moments include setting 20ml of water out in the sun to warm enough to activate the yeast, and indeed going down an internet forum rabbit hole to try to decipher how much water to add to about a third of a packet of yeast in the first place. A heated debate also arose from the instructions regarding the stirring implement for the bread mixer. In absence of a wooden or plastic spoon I elected to use the *cleaned* plastic handle of a sharp knife. Before I could enact my plan however I was hurriedly halted by Phil, insisting I used the special tool which apparently exists to stir the bread. This tool takes the form of a plastic knife. A plastic knife is of course not the wooden or plastic spoon noted in the specification for the bread making machine, and despite my pleas that between the two they are so similar that stirring potential would not differ, I eventually yielded, trusting in the experienced guidance that the knife would produce the best results.

On to the results though, the bit you are all interested in. After dutifully waiting the three and a half hours, the bread was extracted. Slicing it up, samples were distributed. I'll leave it to the quotes to put together the picture of how it went.

Trying the bread first, Phil came out with "It's not mixed very well, there are dense lumps of salt in it". Under usual circumstances this would not be too bad, however the quote was accompanied with a deliberate journey to the door of the tatty hut and beyond. The bread's final resting place we can only guess at, but it is alluded to being the bush outside.

Upon Mr. Waite trying the bread second he ended up lying on the floor, claiming the bread was "so dense I had to lie down". When I made a move to pretend to kick James on the way past he responded "please don't make it come up, I don't want to taste it twice!" It was at this point when Jacob chimed in with the tactful comment "I couldn't even finish mine", adding "I feel nauseous" for good measure.

I do not know how it says more about (my bread, the others or Charlotte) but her comment was "I thought it was actually quite nice". So there you go, idiosyncratic taste buds or an unwavering commitment to politeness? I'll let you decide.

In the end I took this episode as an omen, deciding to call off my trip up the plateau early tomorrow morning. I was on the edge and this certainly seemed like the universe sending me a message. There is a silver lining though, and that is that I'll certainly never be asked to make bread again. Another afternoon drinking beer for me!

Yours to the final Sump, Isaac.

Sieds calmly checked the online documentation, did the three-fingered salute to reset the firmware on the scanner, and it worked.

With major Faff we set off from top camp towards Fishface to collect rope that had been left there last year. Our bags were very heavy with lots of ropes, hangers and all our caving kit to get to the store of ropes at the bottom of the 4th pitch. James and Jacob found the cave with minimal snow and cleared and flattened it whilst Charlotte kitted up to go in and rig.Jacob hadn't brought a chest harness to expo so some macguyvering of a sling was in order. Rigging went smoothly past the chossy death pitch and tasteful noods until we got to the icy tube pitch. Charlotte rigged the wrong way here as the topo from Jonty had confused hiltis for expansions. Cue an hour of going down the wrong pitch and then back up and fruitful searching for hiltis (unreflectored). Charlotte found the nright bolts and eventually the rest of us got into a group shelter and started singing, hugging, shivering and eating flapjack to stay warm. We even wrote a new verse of Hard Caver.

The plateau is perfect for caving they say
as long as you find them and don't lose your way
we went down to fishface to collect all the rope
but missed half the bolts and we lost all our hope .....

Eventually we heard rope free and quickly made our way down to the rope store at the bottom. As I passed the deviation at the bottom my light decided it didn't want to work anymore meaning i had to use my spare which fortunatly was around my neck! Large tacklebags were filled up with large quantities of rope which then were prussiced out by this years expos first and keenest cavers. we emerged after much fighting with bags (charlotte really likes having three bags whilst derigging) to a lovely evening with the sun just having set, and enjoyed a relaxing walk back to top with the milky way looking over us. (The walk was much less relaxing for me as the spade handle kept getting caught on things and tried to kill me multiple times).