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<font size=-1>Cambridge Underground 1999 pp 75-82</font>
<h1>Expo '96</h1>
<h3>by Unknown</h3></center>

<p><blockquote>"To jack, or not to jack. That is the question. Whether 'tis
nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and bolts of outrageous rigging..."
--- Steve B</blockquote>

<p>Halfway through expo '95, it seemed that expo '96 would struggle to find
ten members. The feeling that we were banging our heads against a brick wall
was stronger than ever after an expo spent pushing fairly pointless leads in 
<p><span lang="de">Kaninchenh&ouml;hle</span>. Then Wookey, AndyA and JulianH
went caving and accidentally found Triassic Park, and suddenly everyone who
had been looking forward to a Summer doing something nicer in 1996 was
forced to think again.

<p>A year of relentless expo bullshit followed, meaning that by the time the 
Summer came round again there was a long list of people intending to go to 
Austria, attracted by the stories of train tunnel passageway and over 50 new 
leads with walking access from a new entrance, 161d or <b>Scarface.</b> This
included  some unlikely names who hadn't been seen on expo for some years.
Almost all of them were going to bring their caving gear, and a clear
majority had expressed the intention of using it. In the end, forty people
turned up in Austria at one time or another, the largest ever CUCC Austrian
expo. The guest list included AndyC and Juliet from Bristol, Rolf and Lumatt
from York, Phil Underwood from London, and Brian.

<p>Up until a week before departure, Brian was known only as "Phil
Underwood's Mate", so we were half expecting a scruffy student who
barely knew how to wipe his own arse. Up rolled a 43 year old bloke
who five weeks later had won the TU tally having amassed 121 hours
underground. This was largely achieved by being the only person who
was prepared to accompany Nick on repeated trips down Interview
Bastard, of which more anon.

<p>Expo wouldn't be expo if everything was organised well in advance, so
this year we changed the dates two weeks before departure. This was largely
because nobody wanted to derig, so we waited until everyone had booked their
holiday and then moved the whole expo forward a week, and turned the planned 
reconnaissance week into a reconnaissance two days. Steve and Anthony spent 
the day before departure buying bits for making temporary cave tags and
making up the top camp food. This rush helps explain the generally low
quality of this year's top camp fare, though the absence of any nice
ingredients may also be significant. In the end most of the things that
needed to be done got done, and late that evening a Lada and trailer
combination trundled out of Harvey  Court, and expo was underway.

<h3>Week 1</h3>

<p><blockquote>"Well, if some of the spits weren't kak, you wouldn't
appreciate the good  ones." -- PhilU</blockquote>

<p>The trailer proved to be considerably sturdier than it's 1995
predecessor, despite having ominously been found by Wookey in the same
place, and was still in one piece on arrival at the Gasthof Staud'nwirt late
the following evening. Anthony and Steve's run of good fortune continued as
they managed to get enough pegs in to stop the beer tent being blown away by
the first thunderstorm of expo, and re-found 161d at the first attempt
(though it took a long time slogging round the Stogerweg in the rain.) Thus
by the time Nick, Helen, Gunilla and Matthew arrived we had a base camp, a
top camp and a cave. Not bad.

<p>What we didn't have was a decent surface route to 161d, which is situated
in the middle of a cliff on the far side of the Schwarzmooskogel ridge from
top camp. Just as we were about to set off to try and find one, Hilda's
phone rang: Helen, who had been in Austria 36 hours, had a job interview the 
following week, having failed to get any interviews at all during the 
preceding months. She and Nick thus had to go to Salzburg to change her
flight ticket, and in the end she only managed one caving trip before
returning home. The rest had surprising success in finding an adequate route
to 161d from the col, and after a further afternoon practising plant
husbandry with hacksaws and placing a couple of handlines, a passable route
was created. The London team had now arrived, and everyone was ready to go
caving. Everyone, that is, except Gunilla, whose failure to wear a sunhat
caused her first to turn puce and then establish an unassailable lead in the
chunder tally. So when the caving finally got underway, she was sitting at
base camp eating baby food.

<p>We first looked at some of the many good leads at the far end of Triassic
Park. Under the watchful gaze of PhilU and Matthew, Steve attempted to scale
Bugger, the star lead left from the end of 1995 comprising a 10m climb,
beyond which it was hoped Triassic Park would continue in a similar vein.
After some swearing and falling off, a retreat was called, and so they went
to look at a horizontal lead near Ring Piece Junction. They found around 300m
of cave with some moderate leads and went home happy. This later fell victim
to a G&ouml;ssered-up naming session, and the <b>Puerile Humour Series</b>
was born.

<p>Meanwhile, Brian and Anthony took the brand new length of 9mm to a big
pitch off Minoan Surprise, with an estimated depth of 80m, whilst Nick and
Helen went to the fourth way on at Trifurcation. They descended a 30m pitch,
which led to a further pitch. This became the <b>Interview Blues Series</b>
as Helen left to return to England the following morning. The other three
went to carry on where they had left off the previous day. It started raining
as they approached the col on the way to the cave. When they emerged, it was
still raining...

<h3>Week 2</h3>

<p><blockquote>"We've got that bloody great useless thing." -- Rolf
"What, Julian? He's coming out later this week." -- PhilB</blockquote>

<p>It didn't stop raining for most of week two, bringing memories of 1993
flooding (ho ho) back. When we finally got fed up of festering in the
potato hut, four heroic individuals slithered up to top camp to find
five inches of snow, Leck Fell type weather and some funny shaped
tents, which they excavated before heading back to base camp to
sulk. We amused ourselves by putting up the base camp radio aerial,
despite knowing full well that we would be rhinoceroused at for doing
it wrong.

<p>When the weather cleared a little, a bit of surveying got done in the
embryonic Puerile Humour Series and work continued on Brian and
Anthony's big pitch. Scepticism abounds when people claim to have
found 80m pitches, and this once more proved valid: The
<b>Bottomless Pit of Eternal Chaos</b> is a mere 79m deep. As is the
way with big pitches in KH, the way on is a grotty rift which opens
out onto a 27m pitch (<b>Redemption</b>). This leads only to more
grotty rift before becoming choked. The survey shows this lot to be
some 60m below the 'floor' of Knossos.

<p>Since it was obvious that a nutter was required to get to the top of
Bugger, the arrival of AndyA and DaveF towards the end of the week was
most welcome. DaveF duly thrashed his way to the top, and walked into
miles of train tunnel passage, eventually popping out of the hill
somewhere near Bad Ischl. Or not. In fact, <b>Fine Clean Rock</b>
disappointingly closes down after about 100m, with only a few scrotty
horizontal leads, but they did find a deep pitch (estimated at 80m)
with an impressively large rock perched on the edge which wobbled
alarmingly when smaller rocks were lobbed at it.

<h3>Week 3</h3>

<p><blockquote>"Can we go to Stairway to Hell now please?" -- ChrisD. 
More than once.</blockquote>

<p>Base camp started to fill up at the start of week three, and the
ranting level escalated, with the quality of the walk to the cave
being the favourite subject, followed closely by the somewhat variable
quality of top camp food. The path can't have been that bad, as a
couple of Austrian walkers turned up at 161d one morning wondering
where the line of cairns went next, but the food was pretty awful on a
bad day. Our leader rhino'd his way across Europe with Gill, Lumatt
and Sam, and with the arrival of Mike and Tina, seven vehicles had
made it to Austria without having to call out the breakdown -- a
remarkable achievement in many cases, and disappointing given how much
money we'd collectively given to Green Flag. Cometh the hour, cometh
the man: Julian Todd didn't let us down, and it's a shame that base
camp was deserted when he and Wookey turned up on the back of a
breakdown truck after ten hours sitting around in Germany. Other
arrivals in midweek were Chris and Becka fresh from the Berger, who
set about trying to instil a bit of Oxford enthusiasm into the languid
Cambridge expo (it didn't work.) Chris seemed very disappointed that
everyone was shying away from Stairway to Hell, a boulder choke
leading to passage heading towards Stellerweg, and billed as the
nastiest bit of cave in the world by those who had been there the
previous year, and Becka set about making Nick and Brian look like a
pair of slack festering slobs by going caving on eight consecutive
days.

<p>Luckily the weather cleared up so the cave got rather busy, as did the
changing area, entertainingly situated on a landslip above a
precipitous drop. JulianH set about the task of single handedly
wiping out the question mark list. He and Gill found <b>Teapot Chamber</b>
from Shortage of Walls, which leads to a couple of pitches into the
Rich Tea area of France (tick). In a desperate attempt to avoid
Stairway to Hell, every potential bypass was investigated. A good lead
off Zombie Slime leads to a pitch which was smaller than MikeTA, so
they left it alone only to find their rope hanging out of the roof
back in Zombie Slime (tick) and a loose climb in the corner of
Staud'nwirt Palace simply keeps going up until it chokes (tick.)

<p><a href="../../smkridge/161/l/dh3-06.htm"><img alt="" width=188 height=125 align="left" hspace=10 vspace=10 src="../../smkridge/161/t/dh3-06.jpg"></a>
<b>Andrew Ketley at Penguin Falls, Puerile Humour Series,
<span lang="de">Kaninchenh&ouml;hle</span>.</b> (Dave Horsley)<br clear="all">

<p>This QM extermination effort was being comprehensively undone
elsewhere in the cave, chiefly by Sam in the Puerile Humour Series. He
and Lummat set off with instructions to complete the survey ("It'll
only take a couple of legs") and returned with another half dozen
leads. Sam and Brian made a major breakthrough the day after, finding
<b>Dead Bats Chamber</b> (which contains two dead bats.) The main way
on, a 3m round horizontal tube heading north, divides at <b>Gotham City
Junction</b>. Sam and Brian gave up at a tricky climb in the left hand
branch, and headed the other way to find a pretty mud river (note that
this is KH and mud is regarded as pretty) and <b>Five Ways Chamber</b>
(which has five ways out). Heading north they found <b>Shaft Mine
Passage</b> (which has a number of undescended shafts), ending at the 6m
deep <b>Bounce Rift</b> running perpendicular to the passage with a way on
visible across the top. East from Five Ways they found <b>Completely
Loopy</b>, a rabbit warren of interconnecting passages littered with
leads. In one trip they found enough leads to keep a medium sized expo
happy.

<p>Later trips surveyed this lot, and Sam and Becka returned to the left
hand branch from Gotham City Junction and scaled the climb at the
pushing front to find <b>Where the Wind Blows</b>, a dead straight
passage which leads into <b>Bloody Hairfire Passage</b> after a carbide
error on the surveying trip. Leads at the northern end of this passage
are of particular interest since it is only 100m away from the Far
End.

<p>Meanwhile, lots of other caving was going on. Gunilla was now back on
solids, so she, Duncan, and a selection of others headed off to find
<b>Dr Snuggles</b> from a lead heading west from Triassic Park. This
passage ends at a booming pitch, leading them to think it was at least
25m deep. This was pretty much true, the only complication being that
the pitch is upside-down: A chossy 5m pitch cum climb lands at the
foot of an enormous aven (35+m). Both ways on end in difficult or
tight QM's, so they moved on to a lead at Ring Piece Junction. The
rumoured horizontal passage failed to materialise, so they descended a
27m pitch instead, named <b>Tapeworm</b> after the tape measure snapped
whilst surveying it, followed immediately by the 45m <b>Hammeroids</b>
pitch, so called after the first descent was made by the head of a
bolting hammer. These pitches drop down the same huge rift,
potentially 90m deep, so the way on is inevitably a tight rift which
quickly chokes. Mike and Tina checked out a hole in the wall of
Triassic Park next to the gear dump, and stumbled across 250m of
passage (<b>Alternative Universe</b>) which parallels Triassic Park ending
in a short pitch with a rift exiting, which is too narrow to follow
but is very close to the larger Tapeworm/Hammeroids rift.

<p>The cave was still going strong at the Trifurcation end of Triassic
Park: Someone eventually got round to descending the pitch at the end
of Minoan Surprise, and the surveyors gave a sigh of relief as it
dropped into Knossos more or less where expected. The big pitch in
Fine Clean Rock became <b>Henri's Cat</b> and was indeed found to be
80m deep, followed by further pitches of 55m, 10m and 65m. This
prompted DaveF to take the 200m rope to the bottom in anticipation of
greater depth. It inevitably ended in a pile of rocks, close to the
bottom of the Flat Battery Series but with no connection, leaving
JulianT, hater of surveying and excessively deep holes, to survey it.

<p>Interview Blues was also going strong, much to the surprise of those
brought up on a diet of similar rift pitch series which always become
too tight fairly quickly. Four consecutive pitches led to extensive
horizontal development (well, about 50m anyway) with two possible ways
on, the main one of which is yet another pitch which took two attempts
to descend after Anthony grossly underestimated its length. Nick and
Brian finally made it to the bottom of this fine 55m pitch and happily
stomped off down a massive clean washed canyon littered with stals and
flowing with warm tea, until reality kicked in and they found
themselves in a gloop coated, foot wide rift culminating in yet
another pitch. Surely it wouldn't go much further.

<p>To maintain this expo's record of finding big pitches, PhilU returned
with tales of a four second drop near the start of the Puerile Humour series
giving an estimated depth of 80m. Alarm bells started ringing when he and
AndyC descended it and declared that maybe it was only 50m deep after all.
When we returned with a tape measure, the pitch had shrunk to a more
manageable 30m.

<h3>Week 4</h3>

<p><blockquote>"Which bastard filled this water container right up to the top?" -- Rolf</blockquote>

<p>As week four approached some people went home, but even more people
arrived meaning that there were 36 people present for most of the
week, including most of the festerers. Waddington had turned up
complete with computer and Imax monitor (the laser printer was deemed
excessive and thus lived in the shed), and Helen returned still no
nearer getting a job. All of our early leads were going strong,
somewhat irritatingly in one case, but nobody had yet had the pleasure
of visiting Stairway to Hell. This was not to remain the case for
long.

<p>JulianH and Chris made the first attempt to survey through Stairway to
Hell and into the Forbidden Land as the passage beyond had nominally
been christened, but managed only four legs before fleeing in horror
at the appalling wall of choss apparently held up by a single perched
rock, so it was left to Wookey and AndyA to complete the job. They
found that the 'rift' beyond the choke was really an enormous chamber
(90m x 30m) -- <b>Hall of the Mounting Choss</b> -- with a pile of
boulders in the middle passing for a floor beneath which they were
wandering around. They eventually found a south going strongly
draughting phreatic tube -- <b>Pump House</b> -- which they followed
as far as a large cross rift which they couldn't climb into before
calling it a day. The survey shows this passage to be of similar
dimensions and orientation to Mississippi in Flat France, but some 40m
higher up lending credence to the idea that the breakdown at Stairway
to Hell was produced by a fault. A further trip extended the Forbidden
Land by 200m to the southwest via passages given the exotic titles of
<b>Elin Algor</b> and <b>Tirolia Werke</b>, which arise from a total
lack of inspiration on the part of AndyA when it came to writing names
on the survey, so he pinched the titles of the fridge and cooker in
the potato hut. Within four hours of the survey being completed, there
was a picture of the plateau revolving on Waddington's monitor showing
that this end of the cave was very close indeed to
<b>Steinschlagschacht</b> (136), explored by CUCC in 1983 and
'84. Chris's verdict on the bit of cave he'd been dying to see? "The
hanging death was the worst I have seen, and the route has nothing to
recommend it". Most other people who had been there seemed to concur.

<p>Interview Blues refused to die, and efforts in week four concentrated
on the nice bit (relatively speaking) -- the alternative lead at the
top of the fifth pitch. This proceeds via a south trending rift to a
short pitch, then a larger chossy pitch with aven above which could be
traversed around to reach yet another pitch. Whilst bolting this, they
heard a voice. It was Sam, who was standing at the top of an
undescended pitch in Minoan Surprise adjacent to the Bottomless
Pit. Another QM bites the dust. Nick and Brian were fairly sure that
the larger pitch did not lead to the Bottomless Pit. It did of course,
so <b>Spatial Awareness</b> got its name and another QM was crossed
off. Meanwhile, other people were admiring the breezy but impossible
looking traverse over the head of the 25m first pitch of Interview
Blues. Fortunately Dave 'Walking On Air' Fearon was on hand to leap
across the void and find yet another big pitch. This eventually links
up with the main route down IB, and would be a superior route were it
not for the fact that it becomes a raging waterfall at the first sign
of any rain. There's also another breezy traverse across the top of
it.

<p><a href="../../smkridge/161/l/fearon.htm"><img alt="" width=160 height=117
align="right" hspace=10 vspace=10 src="../../smkridge/161/t/fearon.jpg"></a>
<b>Wookey on the Fear-On traverse over the start of Interview Blues.</b>
(Andy Waddington)<br clear="all">

<p>Being fed up with big pitches and Interview Blues respectively, JulianT
and  Helen took some time out to go hangliding. Julian provided expo's most 
impressive exhibition of projectile vomiting by chundering over most of the 
Grundlsee from a great height, and Helen's unconventional choice of landing 
site led to expo's only rescue. The Austrian fire brigade were called out to 
extricate her from the upper reaches of a tree, and she even got a free lift 
back to base camp with a nice policeman.

<p>Watery fun was also on the agenda as JulianT took several people
diving, and Waddington's canoes provided ample entertainment as
JulianH went white water rafting in the Grundlseer Traun. He was also
responsible for capsizing Knowledgeable Dave in the lake, but then
came a cropper himself when he went to Halstatt for the annual trip to
play on the pedaloes wearing sandals and removed most of his big toe
nail.

<p>The QMs were still coming faster than we could tick them off in the
Puerile Humour series. After giving Interview Blues one of its most
uncomplimentary reviews the day before, Becka and Anthony begged Sam
for a nice lead and he came up with Bounce Rift. Becka scaled the far
side, and they bumbled off down the passage beyond to emerge in a
large hading rift chamber. Having established that none of the shitty
unimpressive leads went anywhere, it was time to stomp down the
draughting 4m round phreatic tube, which ended after 80m in a
draughting choke. There seemed to be a small chamber beyond, so ten
minutes of digging followed before Becka broke through into it and saw
daylight. Admittedly there was only three inches of daylight at that
point, so it took another 40 minutes of digging before Becka slid out
of the new 161e entrance with grace, style and effortless ease. Your
lardy scribe had obviously been over indulging in soya chunks however,
and didn't fit through until a few more rocks had been removed, and so
<b>Yorkshire Pudding</b> earned its name.

<p>Ten minutes later, voices were heard, and Sam, Lummat and Craig
appeared having just emerged from the second new entrance of the
day. They had been surveying near Completely Loopy, and had similarly
followed the main draught until they popped out of the hill. After
sitting around grinning like a lot of little kids for a while and
trying to guess where they were, they all went back underground to
measure it and find out for sure. The answer is that 161e and 161f are
about 500m north of 161d, some 40m higher up the hill, and suffer from
the same surface accessibility problems as 161d meaning that neither
will be very much use for access to leads other than those in the
immediate vicinity of these entrances.

<p>This was Craig's introduction to expo caving, so just to bring him
back down to earth and show him what it's really like, his second trip
was to an appallingly loose pitch below Bugger bolted by MarkM and
Juliette the previous day, and appropriately called <b>Choss
Pot</b>. Expo's senior citizens were also in action this week, as Jeremy,
ChrisD, Tony and DaveH went to a lead near Moth Chamber and bounded
back to top camp with mile wide grins like a bunch of novices who'd
found their first ever bit of cave. <b>Wheelchair Access</b> is around 50m
long and sounds faintly squalid, but there is an interesting
draughting hole which will require enlargement. Duncan and Steve were
already applying the 'Make Your Own' technique by hammering out a four
inch round hole in the wall in Dr Snuggles until they fitted
through. 60m of crawling appeared to have yielded a result as they
emerged into a large space containing pristine mud, until they spotted
the red and white flagging tape marking the route through Triassic
Park and realised they were at the start of Alternative
Universe. These exploits took place on the day of the annual photo
trip, something of a misnomer as it turned out. All the fancy gear
which was working perfectly at top camp consistently failed to work
for five hours once taken underground. AndyA was not pleased. (There
were repercussions at conference time, when the CUCC talk was
accompanied by exactly five underground slides, but that's another
rant...).

<p>Happy with our week's work, everyone retreated to base camp to get drunk
at the expo dinner, this year in the presence of the deputy mayor of
<span lang="de-at">Bad Aussee</span> and the head of tourism who bizarrely
seem quite pleased that we keep returning to their otherwise lovely town.
This could have been a disaster, but passed off quite peacefully as they were
both sound blokes. Even so, we  refrained from raucous singing and throwing
people in the river until after they had left.

<h3>Week 5</h3>

<p><blockquote>"... As my lumps of mud which passed for gear turned to slime,
my glasses  clouded over, the tacklesack became five times heavier and my
jammers  completely refused to down-prussik, it could be said I was not
having fun".  -- Nick on the joy that is Interview Blues.</blockquote>

<p>With the prospect of imminent derigging upon us, base camp started to
empty at the beginning of week five. For those that remained, there was still
lots to do in Interview Blues and the Puerile Humour Series, and we had
relocated 136 so there was some excitement at the possibility of redescending
it and trying to connect to the Forbidden Land thus bypassing Stairway to
Hell. This excitement lasted as long as a cursory inspection of the 1983 log
book. Most of the work in this cave was done by Chas Butcher and Mike Thomas
in 1983, and their logbook accounts don't so much hint that it might be a bit
crap as scream it in six foot high neon letters. Although Wookey and Anthony
made plans to descend 136, and even went as far as collecting together enough
gear, it was obvious that any excuse would do to force an abandonment, and
the weather duly obliged, so 136 will have to wait until next year.

<p>Nick and Brian were rapidly running out of volunteers to accompany them
down Interview Blues, which boasted eight pitches at the start of the week
and ten pitches by the end of the week. However these last two pitches proved
to be the nicest bit of caving in the whole series -- indeed Brian declared
that the ninth pitch was one of the nicest he'd ever descended, but then
maybe his standards had slipped after four weeks down Interview Blues.
Arriving at the foot of the tenth pitch, they were presented by a bewildering
array of leads, but obviously checked out the scrottiest one first (it didn't
go anywhere). The bottom of Interview Blues is 449m below 161a -- the third
deepest point in the cave -- and with a number of fairly promising leads
giving the prospect of more depth, so a return is likely despite its
reputation.

<p>The last caving action of the expo was to the north of the Puerile Humour
Series, where a party went in the 161e entrance hoping that the good lead
around there would close down after ten yards so we could all go home, and
being initially irritated when it didn't. However, it proved to be a
worthwhile find as the area contains a number of ice formations, which are
genuinely pretty in anyone's terms, and overwhelmingly so by the standards of
KH. <b>Iceland</b> was a nice little find to round off expo.

<p>Of course there was still the small matter of disassembling top camp, and
the rope wasn't going to wash itself, so there was another two days of tedium
in scorching heat. The weather stayed fine until somebody mentioned the magic
word 'barbecue' and the heavens opened. Thankfully it cleared up long enough
for DaveH to show us all how it should be done, and for once we managed a
barbecue where all the food was cooked but not charcoaled -- possibly the
most remarkable occurrence of a remarkable expo. After some last minute
morning packing in the pouring rain, we said our goodbyes to Hilda and Karin
and that was that...

<p>...Almost. We still had to get some ailing vehicles some intimidating
distances. Brian's car made it to France without incident, and the Angular
Vehicle did sterling service towing the trailer, so its passengers were
somewhat surprised to find Duncan propping up a wall when they pulled into a
service station in Luxembourg. Paul's Peugeot 205 diesel -- universally
agreed to be the poshest vehicle remaining on expo -- had given up the ghost.
They eventually got given a hire car, complete with free porn mag, to drive
to Calais, whilst the car was taken on the back of a breakdown truck, which
promptly broke down itself. Despite this complication they arrived back in
Britain the following morning, at about the same time that a Lada and trailer
combination spluttered into Girton and expo was over.

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