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< title > CUCC Expedition Handbook: Stooling< / title >
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< h2 id = "tophead" > CUCC Expedition
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Handbook< / h2 > < h1 > On a Matter of Stooling< / h1 >
< p style = "font-style: italic; text-align: center" > < em > From a document written by Duncan for the 2001 paper handbook.
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< p style = "font-size: 140%" > Read this. It is important.< / p >
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< a href = "l/grike.html" > < img class = "onright" src = "t/grike.jpg" / > < / a >
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< p > You may think that you know how to wipe your own arse, and that you do not
therefore need any advice on how to move your bowels on the Loser Plateau.
However, following a number of rather unfortunate stool placements in previous
years, and the need for Expo to retain its current good relations with the
Austrian National Park authorities, the need for some guidelines as to where to
have a shit has become apparent. I think a DOs and DON'Ts format is probably
best – hopefully much of this will be very obvious to most people.< / p >
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< li > < p > DON'T bare your arse anywhere within sight of any tourist paths, for
example the one which runs through the old Top Camp. The reason for this should
be obvious.< / p > < / li >
< li > < p > DO make sure that you drop your turds down a reasonably deep hole
(preferably deep enough that the turds can't be seen from the surface). This
makes it less likely that anyone will discover your clutch of eggs, and helps
to keep the smell down.< / p > < / li >
< li > < p > DON'T be tempted to shit in the vicinity of a bivvy site, even if it's
minging it down with rain. On a hot day the smell will be keen, and disease
rife.< / p > < / li >
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< li > < p > DO take good aim! The best spots (i.e. relatively comfy, not to far away, and good'n'deep) will be discovered and used by several people. No-one wants to see or smell yesterday's slop streaked down the side of an otherwise good grike.< / p > < / li >
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< li > < p > DO think about where your offerings may be washed during a rain-storm – into Steinbrü ckenhö hle perhaps?< / p > < / li >
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< p > Also, it should be pointed out that if you choose to use bog roll (as most
of us do, although more enterprising expo members have experimented with moss,
bunde, and limestone), you should set light to each sheet before you drop it
down the grike; there is a cigarette lighter kept with the bog rolls. DON'T
drop the lighter down the grike.< / p >
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< p > Over the last few years a < a href = l/grike.html > certain grike< / a > in thick bushes
close to the stone bridge has become canonical. Hence the importance of good aim is
redoubled. This now has a loo seat as pictured.< / p >
< p > < b > Postscript:< / b > We have a < a href = "../documents/grike.pdf" > not-too-serious set of diagrams< / a >
on how to achieve correct aim.
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